“Lament is an invitation to experience attunement with God, who ‘tunes in’ to the suffering of His children. . . . Crying out is the key to our bond with God. Our every cry becomes a bid for attachment.”- Summer Joy Gross
“You have kept count of my tears, put my tears in your bottle. Are they not in your book?”- Psalm 56:8 (ESV)
In Chapter 19 (“Lament: Welcomed as We Are”), the final chapter of The Emmanuel Promise, Summer Joy Gross observes that attunement functions as a prerequisite for attachment. Because attachment occurs when you dial into a need, make a thoughtful assessment, and give a thoughtful response.
Above all, Summer counsels against trying to manage on our own. For when we choose to self-manage, we miss the opportunity for our own attachment to God. As a result, Summer presents three keys to lament.
1. Listen for the lament. Most significantly, Summer states, you know you need to lament when you desire to isolate. Because you find it incredulous that others could understand the heaviness you live with. Hence, you fear that oversharing will drive others away.
In addition, no shelf life exists for your lament. God never created a one and done rule. Therefore, God treasures each repeated lament. So, bring all your pain to His loving arms.
2. Write an uncensored lament. Thus, the more detailed your lament, the better. Also, the more emotionally raw your lament, the greater the healing. Consequently, write down the specifics as well as the corresponding feelings that arise. Figure out the true cost of the pain.
3. Let you lament be held. Summer strongly cautions the reader not to skip this step. Because you need an embodied witness for your tears. Someone you trust to hold the hard and holy. Rising pain sharpens healing when a sympathetic listener hears your cry.
Finally, Summer exhorts:
“Attachment love developed through attunement gives us the resilience to risk the courage of obedience.”
Today’s question: Do you see crying out as a bid for attachment? Please share.
Tomorrow’s blog: the annotated bibliography of The Emmanuel Promise
